couple drinking coffee inside coffee shop

Discussing the topic of money with our friends and family is often difficult. Many people feel insecure discussing their financial situation, while others feel like talking about their investments and earnings sounds like bragging. 

These worries need to be faced head-on when discussing finances with your significant other. If you have a family with someone, the decisions on how to spend your earnings are some of the most important ones you will have to make.

 One of the reasons people don’t like discussing finances is because it can lead to fighting and hurt feelings. In this article, you will learn 5 helpful tips about how to have productive financial discussions with your partner.

 5 Tips for Talking About Money With Your Spouse

1. Discuss your goals

At the start of a money-related discussion, it’s important to understand what each person hopes to achieve. What does each person perceive as the main financial issue/most important goal at the moment? How much importance does each person place on retirement, savings, investing, vacations, etc.?

Of course, part of the conversation revolves around income and allocating money. This part of the process will be easier if each party understands where the other is coming from.

2. Admit mistakes

Before talking, write down at least one or two financial habits that you have that can be deemed as less than satisfactory. This can include overspending, being overly frugal, making risky investment decisions, etc. It can be difficult to admit to our faults, but when we do, it will be easier to understand things from our partner’s point of view. 

Once things are out in the open, it can be a joint effort to build healthier financial habits and to plan for the future.

3. Look at the numbers

Assess how much each one of you earns, how much necessities cost every month, and how much you both feel is a reasonable entertainment/incidental budget. This will help make things more objective and take heated emotions out of the discussion. 

Having the calculations in front of you will help you make realistic decisions about how much you want to save and invest and how long it might take to reach your financial goals as a couple. 

4. Make a plan that gets you closer to your goals

After you and your spouse determine which of your goals align and which ones you will be working towards as a pair, you have to make a plan. It’s great to have common goals, but a straightforward plan will help both parties feel that they are contributing equally to achieving the goal. 

For example: As a couple, you want to have $50,000 in savings by the end of the year. You create a plan to reduce the number of date nights you go out on and each person agrees to spend less money on an expensive hobby or form of entertainment.

5. Agree to discuss the topic regularly

One financial discussion a year is not enough. Talking about money shouldn’t be taboo in your household. To make it a habit, try to discuss the family finances at least once per month. These can be scheduled talks that only need to last 15 minutes if everything is going well. 

This will allow you to check in on your shared goals, readjust your plans as necessary, and get any negative feelings off your chests before they become something uglier.


Many couples separate due to disagreements about money. One survey found that fights about money are the second leading cause of divorce. Often, both sides feel anxious about financial discussions and never have them until a huge problem occurs. By then, it’s already too late and these arguments start to boil over. It’s likely that the financial conversation will never become your favorite one to have. Nevertheless, it’s vital to the health of your relationship and your financial standing.